The Trend that is Divorce

Till death do us part. Or at least after 72 days.

Kim Kardashian shocked the world when she filed a divorce from Kris Humphries after only 72 days of marriage. As we all know, Kardashian’s wedding to Humphries was one of the most celebrated (and one of the most expensive) weddings inHollywood. It was covered by every entertainment news program and channel in theUnited States. According to TMZ, the ceremony costs around $10 million or about $138,888 per day.

And Kardashian was not the only one. Just recently, Katy Perry filed a divorce after 14 months of marriage from European comedian-host, Russell Brand. The 27-year-old pop singer has yet to disclose the real deal. But according to some sources, Perry’s marriage to Brand just didn’t work out in the end.

Let’s not forget Jennifer Lopez who divorced Marc Anthony after seven years of marriage and twins. With all of these controversial split ups, has marriage lost its sanctity?

What is Divorce?

According to Wikipedia, divorce is the final termination of a marital union, canceling the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage and dissolving the bonds of matrimony between the parties. It is different from annulment (which declares the marriage null and void). While the two terms are often confused, divorce and annulment are very different in terms of due process.

While divorce has been legalized in many States, thePhilippineshas yet to decide whether to go along with the trend or not. In 2011, a bill was passed proposing the legality of divorce in the country. Being the only predominantly Catholic country in theSoutheast Asia, our strong roots have a powerful say on the legalization of divorce. Till now, the bill sits on the desks of the lawmakers.

Generally, divorce provides an option for both men and women to start over a new life. It is the silver lining in the clouds. It is the rainbow after the rain. Nobody is perfect. Everybody makes mistakes. Love can literally blind us with its magic and fool us into thinking that he or she is the one. But after the joyous ceremony, the monster beneath the veil or coat unfolds.

We have heard a number of cases of battered spouse or cheating partners and having illegitimate children. In these incidences, filing for annulment or divorce gives both parties a chance to ‘free’ themselves from a mentally and physically damaging marriage.

We all have the right to live happily and content. And this right is preserved by divorce in these scenarios. Even if it involves children and child custody, a marriage that is struggling from trust issues, abuse and unfaithfulness is easily separated. No questions asked.

 

Children and Divorce

While divorce gives every man and woman the liberty to restart their lives, we cannot deny the fact that broken families have produced quite a large number of ‘rebel’ children. Divorce and parents separating may have a huge impact on a child. Regardless of his / her age, children always suffer from a separation.

Many (if not all) children who grew up in a broken family tend to be more rebellious. Rebellion may not be as severe as those we see in movies or TV shows. It can manifest in very simple forms such as dating a much, much older guy or girl; not getting serious in relationships; having difficulty coping with separation or having abandonment issues; being very possessive and selfish; always seeking attention; and many others.

As part of the animal kingdom, it is in our instinct to be a part of a ‘herd’. In humans, this ‘herd’ is your first degree family. Removing one leg in a chair will make it imbalance and sometimes unstable. If you remove the father or the mother in the picture, you deny your child the guidance and lesson he or she may learn from that parent.

And the case worsens if any one of these parent remarries or go into a new relationship. You can already imagine the burden in these children.

 

Love, Marriage, and Divorce

One of the greatest advantages of humans over lower forms of animals is our ability to express and interpret our emotions. When we’re sad, angry or happy, we know how to express it through words and gestures.

Among all the emotions we feel, love is the most wonderful. When an individual is in love, you can see and feel the difference. His aura completely changes. He only sees the positive in every single thing. He is simply on a high. And this euphoria that we feel whenever we’re in love can mess up with our rational thinking.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not making a generalization that couples who divorce are not thinking straight when they agreed to get married. Well, there are some. But, there are marriages that worked out great in the beginning and we find them falling apart just because of a single simple problem.

Divorce should be the last option for a struggling couple especially for those with kids. I may not be religious, but as a romantic person, I believe in the sanctity of marriage. Marriage is a bond. It is a commitment that you should honor. You marry someone because you want to spend the rest of your life with him or her. There is no perfect marriage. There will be rough times. You will be tested and pushed to your edge. But if you find yourself giving your best shot to save it, and it still doesn’t work, and the marriage is destroying you and your children mentally and physically, then it is time to give up. Set yourself free.

Maria Espie

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