Love and Lust: Friends with Benefits

If you think it’s a good idea to ‘fcuk’ him first before re-routing his brain into a serious relationship, THINK AGAIN!

We hear it all the time. Men are not taking seriously those women who they can freely have sex with even without commitment. Simple, obvious reason: there’s no challenge. No game. No obstacle course. Everything is too easy.

Hence, there are still women who insist in playing it dirty. Just because he’s getting in your pants, it doesn’t mean he’s getting into your heart. No. When he’s getting into your pants, he’s just after the fun. Don’t even try to justify it by quoting romantic comedy films! There’s a one in a million chance that he’ll eventually like you. And please, stop believing in these movies! 

Are You Getting it Casual?

In general definition, casual sex is the term used to describe a sexual encounter between two uncommitted people. These couples may not necessarily be friends. They can be strangers, colleagues or acquaintance. Oftentimes, they blame their sudden crave for the heat on alcohol.  Men often say its instinct. Sometimes, they blame it on loneliness and depression. And at rare moments, they say it’s the sexual chemistry. Whatever the reason is behind these encounters, one thing’s for sure: everything is casual.

If you look at it with a liberal perspective, there is nothing wrong with casual sex. Why? Humans are biologically created to propagate. Like any other species in the animal kingdom, men and women are naturally inclined to have sex and reproduce. The only difference is that humans have emotions and the rational mind. And since we are blessed with rationality, we are also gifted with the judgment. In short, we know what is right and wrong as according to how we see it. Free will as they say.

How Casual Can You Go?

Love and Lust: Friends with BenefitsThere are several ‘categories’ of casual sex: one night stand, fuck buddy, and friends with benefits. Let’s not include hiring prostitutes in our list, shall we? 

One night stand is the term used to define the relationship between two strangers, colleagues, acquaintances, or even friends who engaged in casual sex for one night. As stated in the name, one night stand, they only did it once. Perhaps, it’s proved by alcohol or doing a dare or plainly lust.

Fuck buddy is the term for two individuals who engage in casual sex for more than one night. I’d like to use this to label a relationship between two people who met casually in a bar or at work, etc. and decided to hit on each other. As stated in the name, a fuck buddy is a person you can count on to have sex with you anytime you want. Or, for as long as their schedule allows. Still, there’s no solid commitment here, folks!  Just horny fellers.

And lastly, friends with benefits. Friends with benefits is the termed coined for a relationship between two long time friends who have decided to take their relationship to the next level. They can be fuck buddies who have grown to know so much about each other in the course of their relationship; or, they could be friends who had a one night stand and wanted to continue what they had. Again, no formal commitment here. Just two people enjoying and exploring their sexuality.

3 Month Rule

There is a trend in most casual sex relationships. According to experts, and street smarts, two individuals who are fuck buddies or friends with benefits cannot go over 3 months. Or else, one of them will fall for the other. This is generally true for most couples engaging in casual sex. And oftentimes, it is the girl who falls for the guy.

Game over.

On the bright side, there’s no harm in taking a risk. Girls, if you want to check if your guy wants to take things to the next level, ask him out on a real date. But before asking him, you have to stop fucking for a while. Lock down your vagina and close those legs first. Mind you, we are in the 21st century. You can ask a guy out on a date yourself. But of course, don’t do it in a way that you’ll emasculate him. Do it in a subtle way. Like a girl.  If he agrees to take you out on a date without the sex, then you’re good. If not, then forget it.

There are some who gets lucky. And there are some who don’t.

Personally, I don’t think it’s a great idea to get a guy by luring him into bed and giving him the best blowjob. You would want the guy to respect you. And you don’t get the respect that you wanted by getting naked instantly. Remember, we are not animals. We are rational beings. We have a vivid definition of what is right and wrong.

You see, sex is sex for guys. They are willing to grab the opportunity if it is laid out in front of them. Most girls, on the other hand, need that special connection first before indulging in sexual intercourse. This is the basis for rape, folks!  But this doesn’t mean that guys are sex animals. It’s just that they are biologically different from us girls.

When it comes to a life long partner, guys have different opinions on when, where and how they’ll meet their future wives. Like us girls, guys also want to establish that emotional connection with their partners. It’s more than her physical appearance that he wants to know.

So next time that you want to unzip those pants casually, think twice.  Do you really want to keep things casual? Can you really keep things casual?

Maria Espie

It's a Writer's World is your online resource to digital marketing news including marketing strategies covering social media, search engine, paid ads, and more.